"yeah, in your bra!"

me wearing a hat

a bae i admire named esther

a supes cool bae i could see myslef with her name's christina she's filipino

this place got good grub

my favorite topics:

what i spend my lawn mowing money on

a guy i look like

a man i met in chinatown waiting for the train said so

this is hilary we grew up together she's my hero

i tried to reconnect with her but she didn't want to we're still great friends she keeps a close watch over me we made webpages like this in mrs. corrado's class

my fav designers

thought i forgot this guy did ya?

nike hyperflight: my all-time fav shoe

i have the jason williams player editions he wore with the kings in a display case in my studio they're purple which rules but those were not an official colorway release

the orange ones were my holy grail white whale during the 2001 st. jane de chantal cyo basketball season

i ended up getting flightposite IIIs that christmas which were an assuredly outstanding design allan houston wore them so did certain players in nba live 2003 but they weren't orange

i started obsessing over shoes in the late 90s but it coalesced with the dawn of the sneaker forums on the internet in 2001 and 2002 my friend bijan from soccer introduced me to niketalk and we began scouring the jordan and nike message boards there after school and all weekend i just played sports went to the mall to look at sneakers and eat at the food court then came home to web surf other members' latest pickups that was my whole life bijan eventually applied which required him to write an essay about why he loved sneaker culture i helped and he submitted it to the forum mod and he read it and accepted him so he could now not only post but this granted him entry into the lucrative "buy/sell" forum which was off limits to the public and shrouded in mystery when i started high school the next year we were in the same geometry class and we began collecting off ebay and we'd share accounts which was dumb cause i found out he was ripping people off with money orders and this got me banned it was so annoying not being able to go on ebay so i bought all my shoes from kickz.com and instyleshoes which imo was a better forum than niketalk i always preferred it they used to let you customize a jordan XI and pick colors and splash them all over a template it was primitive technology but fun my focus at the time was on original and first gen retro jordans and nike air max 95s but i followed everything and had loved the iverson reebok and kobe adidas lines as a younger kid i'd beg my mom to drive me to footaction or finishline at montgomery mall on saturday for jordan release days my brother liked shoes a lot too but it wasn't next level like bijan and i us living on the forums was very unorthodox we were part of a very real subculture no other kids that we knew were doing it we were pioneers bijan went to the mci center it may have changed to verizon center by then but it was for 2001 nba all star weekend which was in dc that year and he got one of gary payton's shoes from the skills competition and he autographed it for him that was like buried treasure to us he was wearing the glove bijan died 4 years later in a botched marijuana purchase in bethesda it was devastating i stopped caring about shoes after that i'd still read the general forum for laughs but i never bought jordans or nikes as a hobby anymore when i moved to los angeles i had to have my hyperflights so i bought them they remind me of bijan the only other pair i'd buy now is the jordan mossifieds but i can only find a good condition pair in all black they have to be white and black i had them as a boy

favorite jordans

i would arrange all my shoes on my shaggy brown carpet and take pictures of them using a digital camera which was cutting edge back then one time i recruited my cousin brendan who lived near us in kensington to come over so i could use his digital camera i'd also photograph my sneaker art and cut out clippings from SLAM and sports illustrated for kids magazine to make cork board collages you could upload your collection to instyleshoes.com which i did cause i wanted to be a big shot i was on there the forum exploded as the 2000s progressed and i was an OG member which brought tons of street cred and reverence from the "newbies" which you were labeled as until you exceeded 100 posts

these are my other favorite non air max nikes so like the zoom turbine the flightposite III the presto the jet flight and the one whose name i always forget but might be my top pick of this lot the air flight max 2 cause my favorite early aughts college point guards tj ford and luke ridnour wore them in games i actually bought a sliver of hardwood off ebay from texas's court that tj signed i framed it at michael's it's in my parents storage room in rockville my brother always loved the penny hardaway shoe line that's what he wore during his 8th grade 2000-2001 tournament team season that was his guy we loved the little penny marketing campaign it really may have been the best branding i've ever seen his logo was so sick i bought a piece for my studio it's framed in my kitchen i liked texas cause their school colors were very orange adjacent veering brown but it was a unique shade it was only second to tennessee volunteer orange which takes the cake handedly i have a rug of theirs on my floor i don't like popular stuff it all sucks i have a habit of finding idiosyncratic things that once i attach myself to blow tf up and instantly become cool and trendy and insufferably mainstream i never receive credit for this special power i deploy it over and over i use it on people and artists i believe in as well who almost immediately gain global success and life affirming riches i've generated certain people hundreds of millions of dollars i made one over a billion dollars by giving her a blueprint to follow and obviously she did cause i'm the best in the world it's the truth i've proven it over and over and to the moon and back again in fact that's how i crossed paths with the aliens who control the simulation they were so impressed by me that they recalibrated the whole mechanism to revolve around my sad existence so now i rule the world and can make anything i want to happen without moving a muscle this sounds awesome in theory but it's not it ruined my life cause no one is allowed to talk to me out of fear of the exposure since my whole life is public record everywhere i go anything i type or text or say the whole world sees in real time my phone got cloned by the cia several presidents of the us are completely addicted to the way i live my life and carry myself and boy are they some jealous nosy nancies i can only get laid once an administration if i'm lucky which i'm not it's been this way for going on 7 years i lost all my 30s and now can never have a family of my own it's very depressing i'm the most influential person on a planet i'm dying to get off of i want them to abduct me and take me to the big show there's nothing here for me anymore and there's no going back to my mundane life before i wrote anything i'm at the end of my rope with being a guinea pig for lizard elites i'm ready to run the machine and make every decision it's what i was chosen to do

brian wilson is my art muse he has been my entire life my mom only let my brother and i listen to oldies 100 on car rides and she had many beach boys cassette tapes at our disposal it was mostly the corny mike love 80s beach boys hits like kokomo but that was a gateway into their wider discography which i began to explore once i got my college laptop and torrent sites like soulseek appeared on my radar that's when my brian obsession really deepened he's the genius of music moreover he's the only person who i'm okay using that word with in music the beach boys are my favorite band my dream was to live in laurel canyon just like him and make a masterpiece there just like him that will never happen now it doesn't change the sentiment though i love fleetwood mac and much of the beatles but i wouldn't even bother making a favorite band list the answer is beach boys beyond that i only find myself revisiting 2000s mixtape rap and timbaland-neptunes production and even that has waned a bunch since my ipod died i don't care about new music it's groupthink formulant spotify farmed by record executives none of it's real they all have cowriters it's so cringe the dinoaurs won't go extinct transport me to the 60s with brian in the canyon that's where i belong we would have been pals

i like hardcore rap music i don't like mainstream rappers they are soft and a function of a team of people they work with dozens of producers and have a litany of ghostwriters that they will expunge from the record as soon as the trend is to be a Zane Lowe genius singer/songwriter auteur which they do cause they're fame whores at their core in other words if you weren't a part of an underground mixtape series in the 2000s you suck in my eyes and aren't real hip hop you're a for profit label shill masquarading as enlightened you're also comically rich and don't have street credibility with me the travis scotts and the kendricks fall into this bucket i lived through clipse doing everything in their power to get away from jive records and it still cost them half a decade and a pound of flesh that was authentic dissastisfaction that's my creed if you want my cosign and entry into the cool kids club i don't like the A24ification of art it's casual it's boiler plate it does not invigorate it's low hanging tree of knowledge everyone is in bed with a technocrat i don't like beyonce i like the-dream the best rapper i've heard is marshall when he was young and hungry and even now he can still wow on a feature with something new that doesn't rely on appealing to the troll palates of chronically online 18-34 year olds he has always offended huge groups of people in brilliant flourishes and shoved the mirror in your face clipse made my favorite rap album ever which for a time was the infamous but my answer today is hell hath no fury they also have the best mixtape series for my money in we got it 4 cheap my second favorite rapper is ab-liva who is the best member of the re-up gang there is no competition is the funniest hip hop you'll hear it's perfect punchline rapping loso has my favorite voice in hip hop always has i bought ghetto fabolous at sam goody in montgomery mall the weekend it released it had timbaland and neptunes production and if you weren't around for the dedication rennaissance you missed out all of these releases were free and better than anything that wins grammys i couldn't tell you the last rap album i bought it was probably to pimp a butterfly which was so pretentious and full of itself it's like music oscar bait it's emilia perez it's the chiefs i told a guy at ye rustic inn that watching the chiefs is like watching apple play football that applies to all this hypebeast hip hop we're fed eminem wasn't part of a mixtape series but he has battle rap origins which grants him clubhouse clearance no one was more creative in music at the turn of the century my third favorite rapper is freck billionaire let's list them

my palate is refined folks i live off bagged lunch food either 4 or 5 days a week depending on whether it's my off friday see i work a concentrated work schedule like the government does so if i log 9 hours a day i meet my 80 hour bi-weekly pay period total which i do cause i'm not a nepo baby with industry insider or texas oil baron parents who pay all my bills and i don't have a book deal so i have to earn my salary and benefits the old fashioned way by doing something lackluster and stressful and time consuming anyways this means i pack a lunch to save money i eat oikos yogurt, raisins, gluten free crackers, a baggie of green grapes, 2 almond butter and honey sandwiches on gluten free siete almond flour wraps, baggie of carrots, 2 granny smith apples and a banana it's very healthy i don't gain weight this way and i never eat out during the week for dinner i eat the same thing every night which is ground turkey, spinach and a steamed vegetable variety usually broccoli, peas or long green beans i like the long better than the short smothered in sriracha i only added spicy sauce back into my diet this past summer cause my stomach was revolting same with beer and caesar salad my favorite foods are sugary cereals specifially the ones pictured but i don't eat them anymore i can't eat pasta anymore either that was my dinner every night for 12 full years i am not joking that is not an exaggeration every single night for 12 years rigatoni with marinara, spinach, hot sauce and grated wheel parm my stomach called it quits on this arrangement i love hamburger helper but can't anymore either my mom made great hamburger helper i miss her lasagna my favorite delicacies were delaware staple grotto plain pizza only plain and boston powerhouse sam lagrassa's combo sandwich with the pickle they were on triple D i went every friday at school then we'd get black and tans at Sevens up the street on Charles the best wings are hard times i'd go every wednesday in bethesda with my cousins and play photo hunt wednesday night was wing night it was half price

because from 2012-2024 i was essentially a vegan my disqualifiers being greek yogurt and grated wheel parm i had to be mindful of my protein intake yogurt and soy milk have a fair amount but the lack of animal meat as a consistent protein source in my diet worried me this is why i introduced a protein smoothie into my morning routine during covid when i could work from home and control my health far more successfully for example i used to walk 15-20 miles every weekday i did 12 laps in the morning i did 27 laps at lunch and i did 33 laps in the evening on the weekends i added in an additional morning 12 mile journey from pigtown to fells point and back cutting through fed hill and riverside park near locust point on the way home so this brought my daily weekend grand total to ~30 miles i did this 2 or 3 days a week depending on whether it was my off friday i'd get coffee at daily grind, pitango and aveley farms until they moved to towson i loved seeing my barista baes so in other words i was the most fit human on earth by my accounts the photos confirm this i have never met anyone who has had a more rigorous exercise routine than me from 2020-2024 military guys like goggins say they do but they embellish that for the gram and merch sales my physique is legitimately a hundred times better than his no athlete has a better body than me either it's funny how bad professional athletes' bodies are i can't believe it if i had access to the world class facilities and resources free of charge like they do and beyond that just the free time they have all their time at their disposal since they're filthy rich to work out with trainers and sports scientists and whatever and they still don't achieve pinnacle physiques it's all i would do my genetic baseline is superior to every person i've ever known again the photos prove this they also all take designer peds and fat burners and ozempic and can't compete with me it's fascinating but it's a big part of why the aliens chose me over the anunnaki to control the simulation--i'm so impressive--even today i have to commute ~2 hours on a good day which makes me unable to do my morning walk or lunch walk since i have to leave by 6am and be at the office all day so i only walk at night now but i have only gained ~5 pounds and as i've cut back/out drinking beer on the weekend i've dropped back down into the 140s moving towards the goal line before i moved i walked at around 145 pounds granted my health crisis kept me at the lower end of the 140s for many months but before that 145-148 was a safe bet this week i started the week at 148.0 so i'm confident i will be back at the lower end by summer body season and i'll stay there it's all a function of how much walking i can do but that's just a casualty of living in LA where everyone is so drive-centric and in my industry remote jobs are hard to come by believe me i'd take one in an instant no hesitation for the health upside alone alas my line of work loves to be in the office it gives the illusion of power and authority to career types it's so annoying being surrounded by LA peeps who tell me they work in tech and don't have to spend $300 a month in gas my life was so much better during quarantine it really was i never had to sit in a cubicle, wore what i want, i was in peak fitness and i had schedule flexibility to write masterpieces that will live forever in the public imagination i don't have sex so it wasn't like being alone and not getting girls was a system shock or anything it's a tradeoff though cause i do love not having winter in los angeles we'll see how long i can live here before i run out of money and have to move back east to sell my houses and start over again i think i can make it at least one more year anyways here is my smoothie recipe i make every morning at ~5:30am

forgot to mention you can also use ripple it has a similar grams of protein profile but it's more expensive and you get less fluid ounces so if budget is a concern i'd skip it i use the green 7g soy from silk it has a good deal less calories than their red 8g version another tradeoff and also sleep folks sleep makes an enormous difference in my mood and energy levels the extra hour i get on weekends and when i was working from home was colossal on my general morale each day when you exercise in the morning you are far more motivated i've found i want to get back to that somehow i'm always exhausted these days even after 9 hours of sleep the commuting in the morning is kryptonite to my productivity it's because i'm docile all the morning

here's the blender i use it's the clearblend commercial blender i got it off amazon for $165.32 and it's been a godsend i've had no complaints in the last year and a half i even bought my mom one for christmas invest in an upper tier blender and vacuum like dyson and headphones from bose if you're in your adulting years it's worth the few hundred bucks i use mine every single day

the last great era of rap was the odd future mixtape explosion of the early 2010s i would go as far as to say this was the last thing that really possessed me in the genre post aughts kanye at this point was not a rapper he was a full fledged musical auteur producing his own albums collabing with jon brion and daft punk directing short films for the videos wearing clothing he designed i am excluding him from the conversation when i discuss rap music he was hardly some dumb record label rapper yeezus is the greatest album of this century without a doubt i'll be clear i'm talking rapper as it is more traditionally defined--an "emcee"--my favorite emcee of the 2010s is mike g and i highly recommend anyone with even a flirtatious interest in hip hop check out ali and award tour what i liked about odd future at this time was how angry and edgy and unafraid these teenagers were they took horrorcore a very niche subsection of rap popularized by gravediggaz and early three 6 mafia and eminem and melded it with death metal sensibilitiees forming something vibrant and tantilizing and frankly intimidating they were like a roving gang of soul snatching fractals who were prolific with these releases every month there was a new tape by some new teenager in tattered skater gear with epileptic mousse dripping from their anterior orfices they'd say hateful harsh shit that provoked the hell out of me they were like joel schumacher's lost boys stalking santa cruz covered in funnel cake powdered sugar walking jankily to spook adults tyler was their leader and he produced the music sometimes alone other times with another group member they each had their own identity and a degree of lore that followed them around like earl was imprisoned in some boarding school in fiji or something and frank fled the hurricane and changed his name and was ghostwriting for beyonce syd was like a very young girl it made no sense i loved all their tapes particularly tyler's first named bastard the song "splatter" is one of the more aggressive records you'll ever hear and to think he led with that is mind boggling in the context of polite society today all of this would be instantly cancelled nowadays obviously i love nostalgia ultra especially "american wedding" i was posting about this the week it released on my facebook telling everyone to listen to this track and that alternative r&b was the future but we'll keep it with rap but must emphasize how they had so much variety in their catalogue the internet was like groundbreakingly alt so original and domo genesis and hodgy i could go on these at the time children were my me at 23 music idols it's crazy and when they went on fallon they crossed over to the other side and made it this felt enormous for the pitchfork hip hop junkies we won one for once i saw the pack play at boston college for a spring concert and it was cool lil b went on to be an important figure for sure but odd future represented real hip hop it was grassroots unapologetic and just penetrated with vicious attack dog psychosis the energy was spearmint dentyne ice first bite mike was my guy his voice was raspy and really lulled you into a drowsy state the production on ali was sorta ambient and you could hear the molecules ricocheting around the synth laced prairie it was low tide chillwave i have a vivid memory of listening to one of my favorite tracks of the 2010s called "timeless" alone on my mattress which sat on the floor with no box spring beside a window in woodley gardens and it was late at night after a long 5-day work week and my folks were asleep and it was raining hard and it really did feel like time had stopped for me right then and there i was so peaceful and subsisting off a precipitous trance left brain made that one it has birds in the background like "at my window" and "a day in the life of a tree" when award tour was announced i was so excited and downloaded it the second it became available in 2012 the production has many zips and zooms it is faithful to its title mike raps much faster and more deliberately on this one i have to give mountains of acclaim to one of the most influential verses of my life certainly of my adult life which is vince staples's verse on "vicks" listen to me young artists go listen to vince on vicks cause that's what this is all about it's what art is supposed to be it's what i mean when i'm critical of kendrick and his "yas queen" fanbase while he washes the feet of roger goodell he makes emerald fennell art he's not alone they all do beyonce does remember jay before he raped tweens or i suppose while he was raping tweens and he made that eye roll extravaganza 4:44 to sell you tidal then they rebranded as "the carters" and it was awful and they were pretending to be kanye all of a sudden and started making short films instead of music videos despite having no fundamental knowledge of the camera or lens or filmmakers or film history you know just being egregious opportunists wearing fashion house garments like kanye and what do you know it worked next thing we know beyonce is a director for netflix and there's a dirty money campaign to get her an oscar nom for what the hell was it called "black lion"'or something god who cares kendrick copy and pasted ye too and he's dressing up like jesus and setting people on fire in his own just horrible uneducated lazy obvious ostentacious saltburn black title card snuff films how demna of him just be a dumb rapper dude and make better dumb rap songs you're a prophet in the jacques audiard interpetation women love your simp anthems i can name so little of them literally not one since money trees you don't have radio hits which is what i want from sell out popcorn rappers i would have gone to the nelly show way more bangers like exclusively bangers that are smack dab in the universal vault sheesh so please young artists listen to vicks and strive for that level of genuineness and if you feel as disenchanted as i do every waking moment express it spectacularly with courage like vince did anytime i have the impulse to write something reprehensible i stop myself and say "sean maybe you shouldn't that's gonna alienate you from a ton of people" then i think vince's vicks verse in my head and i say "nope we're doing it" i take controversial swings to push pylons down field for the younger generations to have a fresh set of downs to play around i don't preach to the x chrome turn around and accept checks from stick and ball SA totalitarians stay out of my phone padre stan let's rank rap songs of the 2010s